College: Third Week & solo

Posted: February 4th, 2010 under communication, life on the spectrum, parenting, socialization.
Tags: , , , , ,

We’d planned to have a parent ride the buses with M- and be available nearby on campus for the first month…but a combination of things (including M- commenting on the way home one night in the second week that he thought it would be more fun when he could go alone)  led to this morning…we dropped him off at the bus station 20 miles closer to the city, where the express bus runs to downtown.  From there he would transfer to a local headed back north and end up at the campus.   He was supposed to call us from campus when he arrived, which should’ve been about 8 am.

The call came about 8:25.   The local bus, it turned out, had broken down, and he had to wait with the other passengers for another vehicle.   He seemed happily excited about it, rather than distressed, since he was still in plenty of time for his first class.

This is certainly the kind of competence we hoped for, but weren’t certain he had yet.    It’s so far beyond what I was told, when he was little, that he would ever achieve, that it’s…more like pebbles and apples, than apples and oranges.

Looking back, I can trace the decisions we made (try this, encourage that, take this risk and not that one) that led to today’s outcome, but I clearly remember how many times it was a matter guesstimating what the outcome of a given move might be.   Not everything worked.   Some days nothing worked.  But step by step, trying to think long-term on the one hand and in the moment with the other…we got here.

I expect the day will produce other entries (or I’ll just edit this one…)


  • Comment by FrancisT — February 4, 2010 @ 1:03 pm



    Blogs like this make it so clear how much we “normal” folk take for granted.

  • Comment by Elizabeth — February 4, 2010 @ 11:48 pm


    And he did *everything* today–the morning trip, with the bus breaking down, his classes, the afternoon trip, getting his supper from his favorite place, getting to the ice rink, then recognizing the friend who picked him up, receiving a phone call (from me, because he and I hadn’t been clear on which door of the mall he’d be waiting by, for his skates) and making calls (to let his dad know he’d been picked up by the friend.) And kept track of his backpack and his jacket throughout.

    WOW. The WOW factor was very high today.

  • Comment by Elizabeth — February 5, 2010 @ 7:38 am


    We are very happy about this (and will be happier when the septic tank recovers from the heavy rains on soaked ground, but that’s another topic…)

  • Pingback by And to top it off… — February 7, 2010 @ 6:47 pm


    […] posted last week about our son’s first “solo” day at community college–during which he coped […]

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