The Speed of Dark

Welcome to Guest Blogger Darcy Javanne Kramer!

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First, a quick introduction:  I am a counselor at the Disability Resource Center at Portland State University, the largest four-year public college in the state of Oregon.  Elizabeth asked me to guest blog about transition from high school to college for students on the spectrum, which I gladly accepted.

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Some of us are old enough to remember the Pogo cartoon in which a character announced that he didn’t want “ups and downs”–he wanted “ups and upper ups.”  That’s certainly what parents want…kids who keep growing and developing.   When the general trend is upward, and about the typical speed of progression, the “downs” don’t bother parents as much.  But when a child develops more slowly…then the downs are much harder to live with.

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M- is now in his sixth week of living on his own in an apartment in the city.   I haven’t been to his apartment since week four;  R- has picked him up on Friday to come  up here for Friday night through Sunday morning, then R- takes him to church, and then ice-skating.   (The Sunday bus schedule makes it impossible for him to navigate apartment to church, or even count on a bus home from ice-skating.)  Last week, M- managed both legs of the afterschool trip to the ice rink and then home to his apartment.

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This is the start of M-‘s fourth week in his own apartment an hour away in the city.   Yesterday evening, I got email from him saying he had mail from the city, and was supposed to take something to the city offices and have a stamp, but he didn’t know where the city offices were and did not have a stamp in the apartment.   He had sent the email in the afternoon; I checked email after supper.  I phoned to ask him what the mail had been, and was prepared to guide him through whatever it was or deal with it on my Wednesday trip to to the city.   It took awhile to get clear what the mail had been about (note to self–still need more work on comprehension of questions and providing direct answers), but then came the marvel…a milestone indeed.

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Last Sunday,  M- left his keys up here (50 miles from where he now lives) and so after church he had to go to the apartment offices and be let in to pick up his spare keys.   Wednesday, when I was going to the city anyway, I took his keys down to him and tried to get his router hooked up properly.  Had to call for help from techie friends.    By then he had been two class two days.   Thursday,  I took him grocery shopping in the evening–wasn’t time on Wednesday, thanks to problems with router.    I often drive to the city two weekdays, once for voice lesson and choir, and once for fencing practice.  But it had rained, so the yard wasn’t good for fencing, and I did the grocery shopping with M- early enough that I was almost home by nine pm.  This morning, R- picked him up from the apartment to drive him to church.

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It was all moving, actually.  One of us was down there every day (husband on Monday and Friday, me on Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday) and M- came home Friday with husband for the weekend.   Or part of it.   Like many college students, he brought laundry to do at home (but he did it, not me.)   Read the rest of this entry »

Sunday we moved the non-furniture stuff into M-‘s apartment.   A couple of trips up and down the stairs, and we were all glad someone else would be humping the bed, chairs, and big round table up there.

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…also known as the last three months.   It’s been a roller-coaster, a whirligig, and a challenge in every dimension, but here we are facing the next with renewed excitement.

First there’s the college situation.   Our son did in fact have problems typical of autists in both the Transition to College and the Reading classes.   It’s worth examining these to see how his autism affected his understanding of (clear to most people) instructions.   He had been working willingly and consistently, so it wasn’t lack of motivation or laziness causing the difficulties.

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At the end of the first exam period–six full weeks of classes–our son took his first “big” exam, in the pre-algebra class.   Since he had work hours this week on several of the days exams were given,  he had to take the exam on a Saturday (not a usual class day.)     He said he felt prepared enough for it…and though students had an hour and forty minutes for it, he finished in 35 minutes with a score of 89.   If that had been the only triumph of the week, we’d all be delighted…but it wasn’t.

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So after five weeks of classes, M- is still engaged and enthusiastic.   He’s managing the bus rides alone, using his cellphone to connect with us, and doing his homework both online and on paper.   We’ll find out next week or the one after, when grades are posted, how he did in the first part of the semester.   He started back to part-time work this week, two days, and says he’s keeping up with his homework.

He’s having some problems with the verbal part of one class that requires verbal class participation (he says he can’t tell when it’s his turn to speak and when he should stop–not surprising considering his speech difficulties) and I think his reading comprehension is still lagging.  But immense gains, nonetheless.