The Speed of Dark

Thirty years ago,  children with disabilities were not guaranteed education in public schools.    My state had residential schools in the state capital for deaf children and for blind children, but nothing for children who had other disabilities.     I remember the mother of a childhood friend fighting with the school board so her daughter–with severe hearing impairment–could attend regular classes.   (Her daughter is now a professor of chemistry.)    If they weren’t institutionalized,  disabled children were home-schooled, usually by tutors, like Helen Keller.

But now that federal law requires schools to educate all children, why would a parent choose homeschooling?  And why are the advantages–and challenges–of doing so?    Here are some things to think about, from someone who did it.

Read the rest of this entry »

My agent has reported two “spikes” in sales of The Speed of Dark in the past month–so of course I’m happy about that.   The most recent was 92 copies in Portland, Maine.  WOW!

For anyone who’s contemplating using this book in a book club, class, or other reading group, please be aware that my publisher, Del Rey, may  have some special materials available, and I will be happy to do an email interview for your group.

Travel time is limited, but technology’s getting better every day–now that I have broadband, I might even be able to manage an online chat session.

(And now, back to the Happy Dance of  “People are reading my book, my book!  People are reading my book!!!”)

When you have a child with disabilities–especially developmental disabilities, whether autism or something else–you want to do the absolute most for that child you can.    That child, you feel–or I felt–deserves–needs–a perfect parent.    That child, of all children, shouldn’t have to deal with parental imperfections–he has enough problems already.   He/she is so fragile, so vulnerable, that any mistakes parents make are likely to be the tipping point that makes it impossible for the child to have a happy life.

Then comes the day…you know the day.  The day you lose your temper.  The day you forget something vital.   The day you aren’t perfectly controlled, calm, supportive, firm enough and flexible enough,  diligent in getting through his/her therapies, the house isn’t clean enough, the vital paperwork goes missing.  That day.

Here’s the story of the day I contributed to stunting our son’s initiative.

Read the rest of this entry »

The basis of a healthy social contract between individuals is reciprocity.  At root, individuals bond–as family members, friends, lovers–because they give each other pleasure.  The more pleasure–and the more equal the sharing–the closer the bond.

The game starts at birth.   Adults must start it, as they are the more competent partner (or should be.)  Given the average infant, the average advice on child-rearing results in a baby who soon realizes that people make him feel safe and comfortable and happy.  Within weeks, the baby is responding to this with signs of happiness as well as notices of “something’s wrong, fix it!”    Caring adults are then rewarded by the baby’s joy.  They like the smiles, the coos, the wiggly arms and legs, all the signals that the baby is happy and likes having them around.

Adults then intensify their attempts to get these happy reactions from the baby, repeating the ones that work–because they’re enjoying the baby just as the baby is enjoying them.    Before the average baby is a year old, he knows that adults take pleasure in him–some of the time–and can tell when he’s pleased an adult.   Average babies begin consciously seeking to please their adults at least some of the time–more if the adults are also playing fair, not demanding more than the baby can give.  (Adults have longer attention spans, and often want babies to interact longer than the baby can.)

This is the basis of healthy social motivation.

Read the rest of this entry »

When our son was little, he was considered “low-functioning” because he was nonverbal and tested severely delayed on just about all developmental measures.

A friend’s son was considered “high-functioning” because he was highly verbal and had a high IQ.

The story of how verbal ability became a marker for “high-functioning” in autism is grist for another post, but the implications, for both verbal (Asperger’s) and nonverbal (classic autism) varieties of spectrum disorders is today’s topic. There’s a long history in our educational system of assuming that IQ measures “global” intelligence and thus determines what can be expected of a given child in every aspect of their lives (other than, maybe, sport.) The kid with a high IQ is expected to make A in everything; the kid with a low IQ is expected to struggle in everything.

Read the rest of this entry »