The Speed of Dark

I posted last week about our son’s first “solo” day at community college–during which he coped with bus rides, transfers, a broken-down bus, classes, more bus rides, etc.

What I didn’t know ahead of time was that he would have a paper-and-pen quiz in his pre-algebra class.   On which…wait for it…he made 100.    Right after the bus trip on which one bus broke down.

One of the things many parents wonder about–and worry about–is whether their kid with disabilities will be able to go to college.   It’s pretty easy, sometimes, to come up with a firm “No, sorry, this child will simply never be able to attend college” and at that point concern can shift to other ways to prepare the child for adult life.  And sometimes it’s pretty easy to see that a given child will be able to–colleges now accommodate students in wheelchairs, for instance, much better than they did fifty years ago, when simply being unable to walk unaided barred wheel-chair bound students who could not reach classrooms or labs or rooms in the dorms.

It’s the borderline ones–the “maybe” cases–that cause parents the most angst.  I know, because I have one of those.    And yet…in time, with enough hard work from everyone involved…sometimes “maybe” turns to “yes.”   Yesterday we had a taste of “yes.” Read the rest of this entry »

If you can’t drive, and probably won’t ever drive, then learning to use public transportation is a necessity.   We’ve worked on this since our son was quite young, and by the time we faced the “how to get him to his classes in the city” he had been on buses, trains, subways, and airplanes (oh, and ferry boats) so we did not expect much difficulty with this. Read the rest of this entry »

Our son’s been increasingly interested in getting more education, for the very practical reason of earning more money…having the part-time job has taught him that he’s unlikely to ever make enough to live on from it, even if it were full-time.

So we took him to the nearest city’s community college to find out what was available.  Very sensibly, they insist on all incoming students (not just ones who have special ed and resource courses in their high school transcript) taking their assessment test.    I had been encouraging him to read and write something every day, and he had been, but what with my own work I hadn’t been teaching him.   We had hopes he would do well, at least on the math part of the test.

He didn’t.

Read the rest of this entry »

A word of hope:  the same kid who, at six, could still not stand the noise and confusion of a typical birthday party, may be able to attend the holiday party at his job and later gleefully announce “We had Chinese food for free!”

There were a lot of years in between and a lot of work, but gradually, step by step, tolerance for noise and confusion and strangers led to where we are now:  he likes parties.  He likes parties here, he likes parties at friends’ houses, he likes parties at restaurants…parties with and without music (including music way too loud for me!)

True, he needed assistance in buying a present for the office party (parent conference with supervisor over what would be best), and some assistance in obtaining/wrapping/presenting it, but he did it, and he’s happy about it, and so are we.

I could grieve about all the parties he missed when he was little…but it seems more useful to be glad that he now thoroughly enjoys them.   The long-term goal trumps short-term disappointments.